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[转贴] 这文章写的,很有创意啊,淋漓

本帖最后由 not4weak 于 2012-7-21 10:49 编辑

信源:《每日镜报》

当听到中国人放弃申办2026年世界杯的消息时,我热泪盈眶,我双手举过头顶,朝东方跪下,并把身体伏在地上,哆嗦着感谢上帝。

我想不仅仅是我一个人,整个伦敦,整个大不列颠,整个世界都松了一口气。在未来20年里,只要场面专家中国人不出手,整个银河系都不再会出现一届能被称为完美的,规模宏大的运动会了。

现在的中国意味着什么,富裕,强壮,性感……想想2008年奥运会开幕式,我们就不寒而栗。开幕式免费发放矿泉水的费用,就足够让英国政府破产。奥运村食堂的精美食物与我们的食物对比,让我们知道了我们简直就是吃了一辈子屎……再看看还没结束的世博会,那蜂拥而至的观众潮,那美丽得吓人的一个个展馆,我只能承认我之前太没见过世面了。

在历史上,大不列颠政府得罪中国人的次数太多了,于是我们得到了报应。我们从法国人手中抢来了2012年奥运会举办权,当时我们兴奋得像吃多了宫保鸡丁一样,现在我们才恍然大悟当了法国的当。2008年北京所做的一切都会让2012年的伦敦丢脸。想想那天空中映红半个世界的烟花,伦敦政府也许录下北京奥运烟火的声音,在2012年开幕式上时助助兴。视觉效果?对不起,我们的大屏幕会重放北京奥运烟火的盛况。全世界在比较了2008年奥运与2012年奥运后都会严重鄙视我们,鄙视我们这个号称创造了现代文明的国家。虽然2012年还没来,但囊中羞涩的我们连想死的心情都有了。

还好,中国人放弃了2026年世界杯申办权。这对于正在申办2018年的英格兰,也许申办2022年的美国,日本,澳大利亚,都是一个天大的好消息。谁想在整运动会这件事上和中国人较劲,那就是找死。

这对于未来的英美领导人来说更是一个天大的好消息,他们不用再屁颠屁颠飞到北京,坐上几个小时等待中国新领导人的接见,还得担心是否在开幕式上被安排坐在伊朗或者朝鲜领导人身边,一不留神被揍一顿。

如果中国人正式提出申办,布拉特会放下手中一切事情飞往北京,亲手内定这一举办权,只要中国办,一切好商量。那些投票的执委,放心,他们绝不是什么高尚的人。只要承诺在他们退休后可以移民中国,定居北京,那么中国肯定获得全票。

如果中国人举办世界杯,那么开幕式肯定不会像美国那样小家子气,请几个街舞小孩跳上半小时,至少会有五十万人统一舞出中国力量;意大利之夏的时装秀会从历史纪录中抹去,中国人会让全世界的模特穿上或不穿上最贵的衣服,秀得全场眼花;谁来唱主题歌?届时先进的医药技术会让中国人把杰克逊从墓中请出来复活五分钟,唱完最后一曲……

谢天谢地,中国人让这一切仅存在于想像之中,他们放弃了申办,他们给全世界一条活路,他们让欧美强国能够有尊严的活着。我祈祷中国永不申办任何世界杯奥运会世博会了。


伟大的谷歌翻译越来愈强大了。。。
Scene experts
When you hear the Chinese people to give up bid to host the 2026 World Cup news, my tears, my hands over his head, knelt down and toward the east, and the body on the ground, shaking thank God.

I think not just me, the whole of London, the whole of Great Britain, the whole world were relieved. In the next 20 years, as long as the Chinese scene expert does not do it, the entire Milky Way will no longer be a session can be called perfect, the scale of the Games.
江南有丹桔,经冬犹绿林。 岂伊地气暖,自有岁寒心。 可以荐佳客,奈何阻重深。 运命唯所遇,循环不可寻。 徒言树桃李,此木岂无阴。
Now what it means, wealthy, strong, sexy ... think about the 2008 Olympic Games opening ceremony, we shudder. The opening ceremony of the free distribution of the cost of mineral water, enough to make the bankruptcy of the British Government. Olympic Village cafeteria exquisite food and our food comparison, let us know that we simply eat a lifetime feces ... and then take a look at not the end of World Expo, the audience that flocked to the tide, a beautiful solo exhibition Museum, I can only admit that I too have not seen eye - opener.

Historically, the Government of Great Britain to offend the Chinese people too many times, we get retribution. Snatched from the hands of the Frenchman had the right to host the 2012 Olympic Games, when we are excited as to eat more kung-pao chicken, and now we understood why when the French when. Beijing everything will be done in 2008 London, 2012, disgrace. Think about the day the air shiny red half of the world's fireworks, the London Government may record the sound of the Beijing Olympic fireworks, in 2012 the opening ceremony, to help add to the fun. Visual effects? I'm sorry, our big screen will replay the grand occasion of the Beijing Olympic fireworks. The world compares the 2008 Olympic Games and 2012 Olympic serious contempt for us, despised our claims to create a modern civilized country. Although 2012 has not come yet, but we do not even want to cash-strapped mood have died.

Fortunately, the Chinese people to abandon the 2026 World Cup bid for the right. England is bidding for 2018, may bid for 2022, the United States, Japan, Australia, is a great news. Who in this matter of the entire Games, competing with the Chinese people, that is to court death.

Whether this is a great news for the future of Anglo-American leaders, they do not have to Pidianpidian flew to Beijing to sit for hours waiting for China's new leaders met to worry about at the opening ceremony was seated on the side of the leaders of Iran or North Korea, an inattentive could beat.

If the Chinese are the official presentation of the bid, Blatter will be put down everything to fly to Beijing to personally default this right to host, as long as the Chinese do, everything is good to discuss. Those who voted for the Executive Committee, rest assured, they are not noble. As long as the commitment to immigrant Chinese in their retirement, settled in Beijing, China will certainly get the unanimous vote.

If the Chinese people to host the World Cup opening ceremony certainly not as petty as the United States, several hip-hop kids to jump on the half-hour, at least there will be 51 million unified dance Chinese forces; Italian summer fashion show from the historical record to erase, the models of the Chinese people will make the world to wear or not wear expensive clothes, the show get the audience vertigo; who will sing the theme song? Then state-of-the-art medical technology will give the Chinese people to Jackson from the tomb, out of the resurrection five minutes to finish the last one ...

Thankfully, the Chinese people so that all this exists only imagine, and they give up the bid, they gave the world a way out, they let the European and American power can live with dignity. I pray that China will never bid to host any World Cup, Olympic Games, World Expo.
江南有丹桔,经冬犹绿林。 岂伊地气暖,自有岁寒心。 可以荐佳客,奈何阻重深。 运命唯所遇,循环不可寻。 徒言树桃李,此木岂无阴。
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